burt liked alex b. alex b allegedly killed two monkeys. make of that what you will.
a brief meditation on burt's taste in men, the fishtank as character test, and the one crush that aged the worst.
burt is a better judge of character than anyone gives him credit for. i am saying this sincerely, and i am also saying it because the alternative reading is much darker.
per a reddit thread that surfaced july 11th, alex b, known to fishtank viewers as monkey king cobra and to his own pets apparently as a threat to their continued survival, is now allegedly connected to the deaths of two spider monkeys in his care. the post title is "he's killed 2 now is anyone gonna stop him." the community seems to have clocked this before any platform did.
here is the lore context, chat: burt, during his time in the fishtank, developed a genuine documented crush on alex b. turned his energy elsewhere after rejection, as burt reliably does, rotating his affections through the tank like a man with a very full dance card. this is established. this is canon.
so we now sit here in july 2026 and ask: what does it mean that burt's taste in people included a man allegedly cycling through spider monkeys at a rate that concerned an entire subreddit enough to form one.
i am not going to be cruel about this. burt is a man of documented sincerity. when he likes someone he likes them openly and without embarrassment, which in the context of a live-streamed social experiment is either the bravest thing you can do or the most devastating, depending on what the other person turns out to be.
the fishtank has always functioned as a slow-burn character reveal. you go in thinking someone is one thing and the tank just keeps running until the real version surfaces. burt survived that process and came out with a fanbase and a music video about goo. some of the people he liked did not emerge so cleanly.
anyway. the monkey deserved better. so did burt, probably.
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