clavicular wants woah vicky to fix his relationship and honestly that tracks

this is the most clavicular sentence ever written: clavicular allegedly wants woah vicky to help him and his girlfriend sort out their relationship drama.

not a therapist. not a couples counselor. not literally any other option available to a person with internet access. woah vicky.

per the yahoo report from august 11, that is apparently where we are. chat, i need you to sit with this for a second.

here is a man who, in recent memory, has been sentenced in an everglades shooting case, had his security brawl with college kids at a fort lauderdale bar, refereed a boxing match where a fighter allegedly got brutalized, and is currently on a college tour that keeps getting venues canceled. the lore is immense. the arc is ongoing. and the thing he decided needed intervention was the girlfriend situation.

and the intervention he chose was woah vicky.

now, to be clear, per the report, he allegedly wanted her help. we do not know if woah vicky agreed. we do not know what the drama is. we do not know anything beyond the headline, which is somehow enough.

the ex already broke silence last month and the detail she led with was a 90-minute makeup routine. so the relationship history here is not exactly a calm body of water. calling in woah vicky as a neutral third party is a choice a person makes.

it is also, genuinely, a very specific kind of confidence to look at your own life, survey the terrain, and conclude that the thing requiring the most urgent outside help is your love life. not the sentencing. not the canceled venues. the girlfriend thing. that's the one.

the conviction is kind of admirable. i said what i said.

anyway. woah vicky did not ask for this but here we are.